And I Am Still Waiting
by Kitarin
Summary: Originally written for a summer SNexchange.  Set loosely just after the imagined end of the manga... Naruto is struggling to move on in the aftermath of the war, but can someone ease his burden a little?


**Author's Note:** This was originally written for a summer SNexchange. It was written after **Running Back To You**, but actually precedes it timeline-wise, so it's actually better to read this one first.

It's set loosely just after the imagined end of the manga, with Konoha still half in ruins. With thanks to OneRepublic for a song that reminds me of these two every time I hear it. I don't own Naruto - this is just a labor of love and admiration. Kishimoto rocks!

* * *

><p><em>o~ Hello world  
>Hope you're listening<br>Forgive me if I'm young  
>For speaking out of turn<br>There's someone I've been missing  
>I think that they could be<br>The better half of me  
>They're in their own place trying to make it right<br>But I'm tired of justifying ~/o_

In the swiftly deepening twilight, Naruto lifted his arms above his head to stretch, rolling through all the muscles in his back as he sighed deeply.

_Meeting of eternity and still barely anything accomplished._

His feet kicked up dust as he put some distance between himself and the temporary Hokage tower…_tent._ His lips quirked in a half-grimace. Though crookedly, his apartment building still stood, but a lot of the village hadn't fared as well. The re-building had begun in earnest in the last week, now that the war was over, but it still didn't look like the home he'd grown up in.

_I know it's barely been a week, but you'd think they'd be more worried about getting a roof over everyone's heads… stupid council._

Naruto kicked a rock, huffing a little, and then regretted it. The air was hot and stifling, so heavy that breathing felt like adding weight to his body. Despite the weight, the space beside him felt decidedly empty anyway. It was too early in the year for such a heatwave, but it hadn't rained in over a week and the parched earth seemed to be wheezing dust in thirst.

_Still too busy arguing… Madara's dead, it's over, there's no reason to fight anymore._

Shoving his hands in his pockets, Naruto ran lightly up the wall of his building and in the open window. The front door was still jammed shut and he couldn't actually see the surface of the floor beneath the mess. He stripped off his jacket and flopped onto the bed, reaching to brush some plaster off the faded quilt when it tickled his leg. He hadn't exactly had time to clean in the days since everything had… ended.

_If you can freeze to death, can you heat to death?_

Sakura had yelled at him something about ceilings collapsing yesterday, hadn't she… but he hadn't really processed a word of it.

_Wasting manpower debating whether to go after him when we should be… building houses, digging wells! Instead, they're fighting about borderlines, alliances, who killed who and why… _

Naruto sat up in a frustrated huff, stalking over to the sink and turning on the water for a drink, some respite or relief from the dry, dry air and this heavy, heavy feeling… but no water came. The sink wasn't working. It hadn't worked in a long time.

_Obviously. Obviously the sink doesn't work when you were just ranting about digging wells, idiot! So why're they caught up in placing blame on someone who isn't even here to defend it, to even accept it!_

Snatching his canteen from the table, he gulped the water down before staggering back to the bed, tossing aside his pillow. He reached over, down, under, around, wiggling his hand into the corner between the bed and the wall until he found the object he sought.

_Somebody who might not even still be…_

Leaning against the wall beside the window, he held it up in the dim path of light, running one finger lightly over the scratch through the center.

_I'd thought, maybe, after it was all over… maybe then…_

"Still brooding over a piece of scrap metal?"

Naruto started so hard that he knocked the back of his head into the wall, sending another rain of plaster down on him. He reached up to rub it as he glared at the intruder. "Bastard! Ever heard of knocking?" The response was so automatic that it took Naruto nearly thirty seconds to process the fact that _Sasuke_ was crouched in his window, glaring just as harshly back at him, just as _NOT__ DEAD_- Naruto's heart dropped into his stomach as his brain caught up with his eyes - _where__ the __Kyuubi__ must__ have__ smacked __it__ with__ a __fireball_ - because it was now pounding it's way right out of his head—

"On what door?"

Naruto moved on instinct as he launched himself at Sasuke, knocking him out of the window and gracelessly onto the bed, hugging him awkwardly at an angle with one arm. "Everyone thinks you're dead!" he hissed, a wondrous tangle of relief and anger and hope in his voice.

"Oww, what the hell," Sasuke muttered in irritation – there was a knee digging into his hip in a _very_ uncomfortable way- shrugging Naruto off and attempting to right himself all at the same time. "Not everyone thinks that," he growled, and then, as an afterthought, he elbowed Naruto hard in the ribs. "And of _course_ I'm not dead, you moron."

The moment of surprise passing, Naruto let out a grunt at the elbow, letting go of his former teammate and sliding back to sit on his knees somewhat sheepishly. "The council wants to… if the Anbu saw…"

"It's better if they think I'm dead." Sasuke had righted himself to sit on his knees opposite the other boy and he frowned as he spoke. _This__ was __a __bad __idea._

"Well, that's..." Naruto started with a fierce shake of his head, his voice immediately rising in pitch. "This is your…"

"Don't." Sasuke held up one hand to cover his noise, to cut him off, trying to ignore the warmth of Naruto's skin under his fingers.

"Sasu-"

"What do you think the best case scenario is right now, idiot?" Sasuke hissed in annoyance as he leaned in for emphasis. "That they won't simply try to kill me on sight? That it won't be a bloody massacre when I defend? That they might just lock me up until the council-"

Naruto tried to open his mouth to argue, to tell him how Tsunade and Kakashi had both explained, very patiently, the entire unraveled history of the village that, in some way, gave justification to the ultimate outcome… but Sasuke's hand followed every direction he tried to move until he forcibly grabbed Naruto by the shoulder with the other hand as well, jerking him sharply.

"I know. You don't need to explain. But you have to know that I'm right. I can't stay here - I shouldn't even be here." He dropped his hand, making a move towards the window, but Naruto's hand shot out, curling around his wrist with a sharp tug.

"Then why are you here? Just to tell me, for the oh, _seven __hundred __and __eighty-fourth__ time_, that you can't come home?" There was a long silence where Sasuke did not speak or even turn to look at him… but neither did he try to go. Naruto's hand went clammy with the humidity of the night as he stared at Sasuke's back, slipping a little, and he knew very well that Sasuke was simply allowing himself to be kept here. _But __why?__ Why __would__ you__…_ "You wanted me to know," he finally said softly, answering his own question. "You might want _them_ to think you're dead, but… you don't want me…"

"I didn't want you feeling sorry for me." _Grieving__ me,__ letting __me__ get __in__ the __way._ "I didn't want you trying to follow me." Naruto's fingers crept up his arm as Sasuke gave excuses until they crooked in his elbow, not tugging, just resting. Sasuke exhaled sharply, jerking his arm away. "I'm not coming home."

And then he was gone, a rush of air under Naruto's hand, but the Sage wasted not even a heartbeat before following him.

_o/~__I__ get __lost__ in __the__ beauty  
>Of<em>_ everything __I__ see  
>The <em>_world __ain__'__t __half__ as__ bad  
>As <em>_they __paint__ it__ to __be  
>If all the sons<br>If all the daughters  
>Stopped to take it in<br>Well hopefully the hate subsides and the love can begin  
>It might start now...Yeah<br>Well, maybe I'm just dreaming out loud ~/o  
><em>

"No, Sasuke," he breathed to himself a little raggedly, everything suddenly seeming sharper to his heightened senses. "I won't let you just leave again."

The heavy air felt like moving through water as Naruto tailed Sasuke over the barren expanse of crater left by the war, heading for the treeline. It smelled like rain, so strongly he thought he could taste it in the suddenly growing damp, and the fireflies seemed to trace a path for him even as the sky continued to darken. The wind had started to whip and it felt good as it rushed over Naruto's sweaty skin, evaporating and cooling, giving him the extra rush needed to overtake his prey.

He tackled Sasuke at the treeline – or maybe Sasuke let him – and they skidded into the forest as a faint echo of thunder sounded in the distance. Naruto was straddling Sasuke as he gripped his white shirt between two hands, shaking him hard and fast, a fiery fervor in his eyes. "Things _are_ going to change! Sasuke, I promise you! It's not always going to be like this! It will heal, this rift, this divide, between the people…" _Between__ us__…_ It was a desperate want – to be able to tell Sasuke he could come home, should come home… that he was not just accepted, but _wanted_. _All__ of __the __same__ stupid __things __I__ used __to__ long __for__ – __but __maybe __he __doesn__'__t__ even __want __them,__ want __a __home,__ want __a __team, __want__…_ "Pinky promise!" he choked out, grabbing Sasuke's hand and twining their fingers forcefully, painfully.

"I have my own loose ends to tie up…" Sasuke tried to protest, but the fight had gone out of him in a great big whoosh, the cold hate seeped away _like __that __bastard__'__s __blood_, and it left him hot with the weight of Naruto on top of him, with the weight of _I__'__m __not __dead __I __have __no __home __no __family __I __have__…_

"You'll come home!" Naruto growled at him, with one more desperate shake that smacked Sasuke's head against the dirt hard enough to send his sharingan spinning in defense.

Lightning flashed and for just a moment, Naruto's eyes were bright summer sky mere inches from Sasuke's face, the sky the way it had been the summer they spent sitting on the docks, after Itachi had...

"_I __don__'__t __have __anybody__ and __you __don__'__t __have __anybody, __so __maybe __we __could __be __each __other__'__s __somebodies, __just __so __we__'__re __not__…"_ _A__ tanned__ hand __reaches, __touching __the __back __of __his __where __it __rests __on __the __wooden __planks __and __he __flinches, __says __nothing. __A __shrug __and __a __sunny __smile.__ "__So __we __could __have __each __other__'__s __backs, __y__'__know, __just __in __case.__" __He__ holds __out __his __hand __again, __one __pinky __extended__ and __waits__…_

Sasuke's thoughts raced as if he was trying to pick up all the fragments that might be saved in hopes that it would give him an answer. _I__ have __Naruto._ Sasuke reached up and buried his hands in Naruto's hair, dragging his face down until he could crush the other boy's mouth against his own.

It wasn't a gentle kiss at all, but a clash of lips and teeth and fighting for dominance until Sasuke swept his tongue along Naruto's lower lip and the other boy moaned in response.

A moment later, Naruto found himself flat on his back and breathless as the first drop of rain plopped onto his nose, rolling down his chin like the tears he could not shed. _Sasuke__…_

_o/~__Everything __I __can__'__t __be  
>Is<em>_ everything __you __should __be  
>And<em>_ that__'__s __why __I __need __you __here __~/o_

The pitter-patter became a rushing, rolling sound in the leaves as the rain began to fall. So many individual leaves, so many raindrops, the sound echoed and rattled around as loudly as the noise in Sasuke's head. The lightning was flashing in regular intervals now, the thunder rolling across the land and vibrating his chest.

Sasuke tried to blame every piece of it for the painful racing of his heart, but he couldn't lie to himself anymore. He would not think it again, but he knew what he had admitted. He really couldn't stay, for so many reasons, but _five, __ten __minutes __longer_? His team knew not to come looking for him, no matter what. They knew not to bother him if he never even came back or gave them another command. _But __I __have __to __go. __I __need __to __go._ Naruto had to stay here and help lead the village, had to stay here and do all the things Sasuke wouldn't, couldn't… _Paths __diverge. __It__'__s __impossible__ to __go __backwards._

Sasuke hesitated, slowing his pace for just a moment, his fists clenching at his sides as he second-guessed himself for the first time in as long as he could remember.

It was all the time necessary.

Naruto crashed into the clearing, swinging off one branch to land lightly. His lips still burned where Sasuke had kissed him even as the rain ran cold tracks down his scarred cheeks. "What the hell was that?" he demanded.

Sasuke didn't answer, only watching Naruto silently from where he stood. _A __kiss?__ A__ confession?_ He didn't know if the question was literal, and there was nothing he could say in response that wouldn't sound as idiotic as the question. "Stop following me."

"Stop following me?" There was a slightly hysterical note to Naruto's voice as he shook his head in disbelief. "_You_ came to see _me__ – _oh, never mind, that's not the point!" _I __know__ what __I __felt __in __that __kiss, __even __if __you __won__'__t __say __it._

"I'm leaving now," Sasuke said firmly, but his feet didn't move.

"I won't stop chasing you… until you promise." Naruto's words were strong as he walked towards Sasuke, his steps slowing as he approached… but there was something in his expression that looked decidedly off. He didn't attempt to tackle or fight Sasuke this time and there was something awkward in his stance. "And… and if you don't, well then… I'll tell everyone you're still alive!"

A smirk actually crept onto Sasuke's face at the inanity of Naruto's attempt at blackmail. _Idiot._ He stalked across the last few meters separating them until they were less than an arm's length apart. "Is that so?"

As if they were still twelve years old, arguing about whose turn it was to buy lunch, Naruto crossed his arms over his chest and nodded stubbornly, ridiculously - nervously.

Sasuke didn't bother to answer verbally, grabbing Naruto's wrists and pinning them above his head with one hand as he backed the other boy into the nearest tree. "Then I should kill you now and no one will ever know I was here." The words were light, with none of the venom they had once held, almost…_playful_.

Naruto laughed breathily into Sasuke's ear, his voice low as he murmured. "You don't want me dead, Sasuke… not any more than you wanted me thinking _you_ were dead." There was a hitch in Naruto's voice as Sasuke's head dropped to press a kiss to the pounding pulse point in his neck. The rain had already soaked them through and the touch felt slippery through the sheen of water.

"Then what do I want?"

Steel gripped Naruto's voice. "You saved my life again – you tell me."

Sasuke froze, his lips just barely brushing Naruto's skin. There was no denying that his body had moved without thought, taking that last blow – it was why most of the council _did_ think he was dead now. He shouldn't have survived that blow, but damn Sakura… Sasuke hated thinking of that day. The possibility of losing Naruto had been incomparable, though he wouldn't dare say it out loud. Having watched the other boy from the shadows in recent days, he could see that it was the same in reverse, the pain of loss. "I don't know what it means…" he finally breathed in response.

"Heh," Naruto chuckled softly, wondering if Sasuke could hear his racing heartbeat with his forehead dropped onto Naruto's shoulder. _Sasuke __finally __admitting__ he __doesn__'__t __have __all __the __answers? __I __must __be __dreaming. __Maybe __it__'__s __heatstroke._"I didn't ask you what it meant, only… what you wanted. I already told you what I want. Do I need to say it again? Come home? Beg or plead? _Please_, come home, Sasuke. Come home. Come-""

Naruto's words were cut off as Sasuke's mouth met his again, but this time it was with a tenderness that startled him to his core. With his free hand, Sasuke dragged a thumb across Naruto's cheek, tilting his head and kissing him again and again until Naruto's lips finally parted under his. Naruto's tongue was hot and demanding against his and Sasuke took his time exploring and memorizing the other boy's mouth, savoring what few minutes he'd allowed himself.

_Kisses __the __same __way __he __fights__…_ Naruto couldn't find the words to finish the metaphor, finish even half a thought as he kissed Sasuke back until his head was spinning from lack of air. _Dizzying__…_ He finally broke the kiss with a gasp and Sasuke loosened his hold on Naruto's wrists. Naruto clasped one hand in his own, squeezing it briefly.

Pushing Sasuke's shirt away from his shoulder with his other hand, Naruto leaned to kiss the place where the cursed seal had once marred his pale skin. Sasuke bit back a moan of his own, sliding his free hand down Naruto's chest until he looped one finger into the waistband of his orange pants, jerking him sharply forward.

Their hips collided and Naruto bit back a groan, giving Sasuke the opportunity to drop a line of kisses along his jaw until he drew Naruto's ear lobe into his mouth, sucking hard on it. Naruto's knees buckled, his hips thrusting into Sasuke's involuntarily. "Sasuke!" he hissed.

All the weight, all the heat and heavy, drained away as Sasuke slid his hands over Naruto's ass to lift him up. Leaning his back against the tree, Naruto wrapped his legs around the other boy, exhaling in a sharp grunt when he felt Sasuke's arousal pressed hard and hot against his own through thin, wet fabric. Their mouths collided again as they moved together, sometimes kissing and sometimes simply gasping at the same air.

Naruto left one hand on Sasuke's shoulder for support, but the other slid down between them to find Sasuke's hand as it slid further into his pants. Not one to be outdone, Naruto reached to return the favor, knocking their noses together as he shifted. Sasuke growled lightly, nipping at his bottom lip, but Naruto's clumsiness really only shot another spark down his spine and a moment later, he had both of their erections fisted in his hand. Naruto's hand twined with his, following Sasuke's lead as they kissed once more. He bit Sasuke's lip as he found release, his nails digging into the other boy's shoulder, consoled by the fact that Sasuke joined him with a shudder a moment later and one soft exhalation into his neck. "Naruto."

They sank simultaneously to the ground in a boneless jumble of limbs, Naruto's face now turned into Sasuke's neck, one arm thrown loosely around his shoulders. The sound of the rain began to lessen, little by little, leaving the air cooler and lighter, the thunder a mere echoing afterthought in the distance.

"I could go with you." He hadn't stopped to even think it through – the thought had just appeared in his brain and slipped right out of his mouth without any thought whatsoever of the difficulties or repercussions involved.

"No."

"But-"

"No," Sasuke said more firmly, even as he reached to ruffle Naruto's hair with one hand. "Don't you still have to become Hokage?"

Naruto was silent for a long moment, contemplating his lifelong wish and goal, measuring it against everything that had happened – the destruction of his home, becoming a Sage, losing Jiraiya, controlling the Kyuubi, killing Madara. "It's true that I still want to be, but… I already have respect in the eyes of the village."

"Exactly," Sasuke muttered, sitting up and scooting away from Naruto so that they could face each other. "And running off with a Missing nin-"

"They're going to clear your name."

"Do you really want to get into this again?"

Naruto sighed, shaking his head with a rueful smile. "You helped save the village – what's left of it. You belong here too, Sasuke. I believe that one day you'll… see that." He reached out towards Sasuke, but instead of taking his hand, he twined their pinkies together again, as he had earlier. "So, promise me."

Sasuke groaned, trying to get to his feet, but Naruto refused to let him take his hand back. "Don't you ever give up?"

A wide smile split Naruto's face. "Now who's the moron? Of course the answer is no." Using their linked pinkies, he tugged Sasuke towards him again, the grin turning slightly lecherous – a trait perhaps left to him by someone else Sasuke found just as irritating. "So if you ever want to get out of here, you're going to have promise me – 'cause I already know you won't kill me."

"Ch." Sasuke's lips quirked. "Fine. I promise. Now will you stop trying to break my finger?"

"You promise what?"

"What?"

Naruto enjoyed the exasperation in Sasuke's voice, but knew he wouldn't be able to keep him here much longer. Already, the sky was starting to lighten – how long had they stayed curled under the trees in each other's arms listening to the rain? _Not __long __enough._ "Say it. Say 'I promise I'll come home'."

"I… promise…" Sasuke met Naruto's eyes, a pause between every uncomfortable word. "To…come… back. Eventually."

"Good enough." The words were muffled as Naruto wound his arms around Sasuke, hugging him tightly. "And try not to take too long – I'm not exactly patient." Sasuke's arms slowly lifted to return the embrace and then he tilted Naruto's face towards his to kiss him one more time.

There was no actual goodbye, but Naruto didn't follow Sasuke when he departed the last time. Instead, he turned and walked back towards the village, the center bonfire guiding him back towards their home. The storm had long passed, leaving the sky its familiar tapestry of stars – brighter than usual with the lack of so many lights from the village, but fading quickly as the sun approached the horizon – and Naruto traced the constellations with his eyes, re-playing the entire night in his head. The heat wave had broken, and with a breath of fresh air, it felt not just like a new day… but a new life. One where Sasuke wasn't dead, even if he was gone again.

Despite the disorganized chaos of mess, something felt decidedly different when Naruto reached his apartment. He was _certain_ he'd left it on his pillow before darting out the window… He moved to lift the pillow only to notice the long length of red string laid across it.

Two weeks later, when Shikamaru and Chouji had finally helped him haul the last of the trash bags away and Sakura had offered to make dinner for everyone… then, he could be certain that the object in question, the "scrap metal" he'd been keeping safe, was missing, gone, taken… _returned._

Not today or tomorrow or next week or maybe even next month… but someday, his best friend _would_ come home… and until then, he at least had a reminder of that home to carry with him.

It was enough.

It was a promise.

_o/~__Come __home  
>Come<em>_ home  
>Cause <em>_I__'__ve __been __waiting __for __you  
>For<em>_ so __long  
>For <em>_so __long  
>And <em>_right __now __there's __a __war __between__ the __vanities  
>But <em>_all __I__ see __is __you __and __me  
>The <em>_fight __for __you __is __all __I__'__ve __ever __known  
>Ever <em>_known  
>So <em>_come __home  
>Come <em>_home__~/o_


End file.
